Tag: working mother

Transitioning From Being a Working Mom to a Stay at Home mom

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After being a working mom for three {challenging} years I now have been changing gears and be a stay at home mom!  I couldn’t be more excited and am so thankful for the opportunity to put my career on pause to take care of my little ones.   These past three months being a SAHM I feel like I’ve cleaned like a mad dog and made tons of meals that have landed on the floor and not in the mouths of my children….um struggles….so here are some things I’ve learned over the last three months being a stay at home mommy to help with the transition from being a WORKING MOM to a STAY AT HOME MOM.  Here are my top ten tips!

  1. Have a schedule. Being a working mom you have your day planned down to the minute for it to run efficiently {not exaggerating-down to the minute}.   Well, being a SAHM isn’t much different.   Get a routine of getting ready: laundry, cleaning, reading, playing outside, snack, educational activities, crafts, whatever it is-plan it out!  If its hour by hour or day by day just have a plan! I found that if we woke up with no plan it was hard to figure out what to do with our day.  You’ll just end up at Target and be spending money that you are no longer earning.IMG_3737
  2. Check out your local rec center and library. So I’ve found that it can get really boring just being at “home” given that I’m used to going, going, going.   I also felt like my kids were bored with just plain old me.   They were used to playing with so many kids at daycare so getting them involved is a must.   Our local library is SO AWESOME!  There are toddler story times and craft classes all offered for FREE!  Also the rec center in our neighborhood is great too as you can sign up for different classes that last for 6 week sessions so it’s not a huge commitment if your child isn’t into the sport or activity.   It’s so important to get kids involved so they learn those social skills-sharing, caring, etc.    It also kills SO MUCH TIME loading kids in and out of the car by yourself {I’m used to doing everything as a team with my husband since we used to have the same days off and never left alone with the kids.}

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  3. Meal Prep. You thought your days of packing lunches and meal prepping easy dinners were over? Hahah.   I seriously never knew HOW MUCH MY KIDS EAT ALL DAY!  I mean seriously!  I’ve been making multiple grocery trips a week.   Make sure to prep healthy snacks like carrot sticks, grapes, strawberries, and string cheese in already portioned baggies so the kids can grab and go.   I also reorganized our fridge making the shelf on their eye level to be with their snacks-I swear if my son pulled out anymore salad dressings and marinades from our fridge every time it opened I was gonna go nuts.IMG_3716
  4. Toy Vacations and Rotations are KEY. Kids get bored with their toys and being a single income family I’m not buying them new toys anytime soon {plus I HATE the site of toys lol} When my kids nap I go in their toy bins and collect toys they haven’t touched in a while at they take a nice trip to the Bahamas then I pull some other toys off the shelf and viola new-ish entertainment.  Also never knock a fort out of blakets or coloring an Amazon Prime box into a castle, rocket, or whatever bc lord knows we all have a lot of those boxes lying around. IMG_3730
  5. Playdates aren’t for them, they are for you. The easiest day of parenting I’ve had in months was when we had a playdate at my friend Samantha’s house.   My kids were so entertained by her children’s toys they barely bothered me and I got to gossip for hours with a best friend!  We made it home just in time to put my kids down for a nap and they were so wiped out they slept for THREE hours!  Say hello to mom with an iced coffee watching some Real Housewives….just kidding honey if you’re reading this I scrubbed the floors.  Wink wink. 
  6. Get outside. I get stir crazy quick!  Opening the windows in the house, getting in our backyard, or walking around our neighborhood instantly makes me feel better.  It’s been hard in Vegas to do this lately since its 1000 degrees outside so we’ve been busting out the hose in the backyard.IMG_3717
  7. Do something for you twice a week at least! When I was a working mom I never did ANYTHING for me-NOTHING.   Mom guilt for real!  I stopped going to the gym and getting my nails done because I didn’t want to take time away from my family on my days off.   Even during their naptime when I was working I had a million things to do around the house.   I feel like you can quickly lose your identity being a SAHM so it’s imperative to do something for yourself-gym, nails, shopping alone, girls dinner, whatever it is DO IT!  I try to work out at least once a week and I blog!  I’d love to start dancing again-which used to be a huge part of my identity.
  8. Sometimes you have to throw up your hands and ‘tap out’ of parenting. I wasn’t kidding when I felt like all I’ve done is cook, clean, and negotiate with terrorist…what I mean toddlers…the last two months.   Sometimes you have to say F*** It.   As long as they aren’t dying it’s okay if they are tearing apart the house, eating junky snacks, or watching too much TV.  You need to stay sane.IMG_3740
  9. Communicate with your husband. My husband owns his own business and I know with the financial stability of our family now on his shoulders as a result he now has a lot of pressure on his shoulders.   They guy is the best husband and often comes home from work early to be with his family but HE NEVER STOPS WORKING.   Emails, calls, texts.   When you are trying to run a successful business its 24/7.   It makes me so proud of him of how hard he works but its also really hard for me to feel ‘ignored.’   Its much easier for men to ‘tune out’ the kids and wife and respond to a client or other work issue.   When you are a SAHM the main adult companion you have is your partner-so its important to make your marriage: the romance and the friendship part grow and be strong.   You also have to communicate when you need a break or a step away so you don’t have one of those “lose it” moments we’ve all had. IMG_3710
  10. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I think it’s really easy for moms to compare themselves to one another- as women we always do this its horrible!  I often find myself doing a lot of comparing.  “How does this mom have the energy to work out everyday!”  “How does this mom come up with that fancy recipe!?  Do her kids eat that?”   “That mom makes the beds everyday!? Say what?”   It’s important just to do your best and doing the comparison game isn’t realistic through the tinted lens of social media.   In every job there are good days and bad days and motherhood is the same, remember to soak up the good times and be positive through the bad ones. IMG_3711

Overall this transition has been a small challenge for our family.   My kids had to get used to being with mommy all day and not daddy {we used to come in a pair!}   They also had to get used to not going to daycare and seeing their nanny and friends they miss dearly.  I’m so excited to spend every moment soaking up those tiny toes, giggles, and even tantrums and meltdowns-I should have gone back to work THIS WEEK but instead I get to hang with my crazies all day!

Love our matching socks!? Buy them here! There are also similar pairs here and here. 🙂 This is a great gift idea for moms and dads!

For those mamas that have been stay at home moms since day one WHAT IS YOUR BEST ADVICE FOR ME?  Comment below!

XOXO

Your Redlocks and Shamrocks Girl,

Lisa Doyle

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How I’ve Changed as a Teacher Since Becoming a Mother

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When out and about having small talk with random people and the subject of what I do for a living comes up and I joyfully tell them “I am a teacher” the follow up question is immediately “what grade?”   When I respond proudly, “middle school” I get the same squinty, dirty look in response.   People usually retort with comments like, “wow, that must be tough” or “ew why?”   And yes it is hard and challenging but it is such a great job.   Not one adult can look back at their middle school years and think, “man, I loved my hair,” “my clothes where so cool,” or “I had it all together.”   These are the years where students make fashion disasters, learn to survive without their parent’s assistance, have their first crush, get picked on, and HOPEFULLY learn how to be hardworking, good people.  I have been an educator for many years teaching the very interesting students of them all-middle schoolers.

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Since becoming a mother my teaching practices have changed drastically.   I started by assigning less homework.   I did this for two reasons; one because I realize when kids come home from a long day of work asking them to do even more work is a hard task.   Students are also involved in many different after school activities like soccer, piano, or dance-they don’t have time for homework.   Parents also get little time with their kids, and arguing with them to do some science is not a way I want to spend my evening.   I also started assigning less homework to give myself less work.  As a teacher, the more you assign, the more you grade.   And I too believe spending time with your family is valuable, precious, and can’t be replaced.    Yes, do I think it is important to read with your child every night? Of course!   But playing outside, sitting down at dinner together, having a conversation, or playing a sport is more important.

After becoming a mom, I now care less about my students “learning” and more about turning them into good people who possess values like hard work, determination, and kindness.   When I first started teaching I was all about teaching grammar, wiring, and reading comprehension.   But as an adult when was the last time you dissected a sentence for parts of speech?   Writing and reading skills are key in becoming successful, but if there is anything my students take away from having Mrs. Doyle as a teacher I want it to be that hard work will make you successful in life, being kind to others is more important than being popular, and if you do anything be determined at it-never give up.   I often tell my students, “the boss of a company is not the smartest person in the room, they are the most hardworking.”

Another way I have changed as a teacher is a sad thing that I have realized-not all of my students have good parents or live in a stable home.   I had a blind eye or maybe a naive mind when I became a teacher.   I came from a stable home, my parents who are still married to this day, are both hard working individuals who value education.   Not all of my student’s parents value education.   They don’t care if their child has or does homework, they don’t care if their kid even passes my class.   I have called parents to discuss failing grades and I am practically burdening them with the phone call.   Some-didn’t choose to become parents-they became them.   Some of my students do not have a stable home, they are living in broken homes of divorced parents, parents who are alcoholics, drug attics, or even homeless.   School, or my class, just might be the only stable thing they have in their lives.  So what if the student comes to school without paper, a pencil?   I used to get mad-how could a parent send their kids to school without a binder or something to write with?  Now being a mom, I hand them school supplies over and over again and offer a loving smile and a chance to change their future. 

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I want to be a teacher, who I hope one day when my kids are in school have.   Someone who will love my children as their own, teach them right from wrong, and encourage them to have greatness in their life.

XOXO

Your Redlocks and Shamrocks Girl,

Lisa Doyle

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